Q: I have a friend that asked me this so I am researching it for him. He was married for 13 years and after he retired, got divorced from his wife. According to the divorce decree, he had to pay her a portion of his retirement. The question is this…If the ex-wife remarries, is he still required to make those payments or does it stop when she remarries?
–James, Quantico, Va.
A: Your question focuses on an area in which I receive a lot of questions plus I read a lot of emotional commentary. It’s a hot topic. Unlike alimony which often ends upon remarriage, the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act(USFSPA) dictates that military retirement be treated as property by state courts. So, your friend’s ex-spouse would likely continue to be entitled to her portion of the military retirement-even if she remarries. If he opted for SBP, he would likely see relief there; see these military.com columnsfor additional information.
Another great “Service to Soldiers” brought to you by the Democrat Party and ol’ Patsy Schroeder from Colorado.
Use of the word “entitled” is bothersome. I know in some cases there is justification. It still is grating, especially when the law is so unfairly applied.
*sigh*
I agree. Patsy Schroeder, screwed over the military man. AS if most of the time, those wives actually COST their husbands promotions, ect.
I was married for 2 years in the Marines, got out to to save my marriage to her (HA!). STILL got divorced. Well, 14 years later (after joining the Nasty Guard) I got a reserve retirement. THE ex mentioned she was going to go after my retirement. WOW. Funny thing, I told her since it was now a RESERVE PENSION, I didn’t get a dime till i was 62. By that time, I hope the bitc# is well.….….
Especially since she did SUCH a good job raising our child. (HS drop out, arrested for drugs, ect)
funny thing
I feel I should issue a warning to all men…Pre nuptial agreements and personal wills can be broken,…if the woman gets the right lawyer…and,…the courts give great leeway to the woman on the premise that ” she didn’t know what she was agreeing to when she did it.…” Furthermore, in Washington D.C. and perhaps some states„,.…“If a man takes a woman to a hotel or motel and signs them in as ” Mr, and Mrs. ________ it is recognized as a legal marriage.… BEWARE MEN !.…. THIS may be the _______ you get.…for the one you got !
SO, she can claim stupidity? LAWYERS deserve to be shot
The way I understand it ( my mother and father are in the same position ), if she remarries before age 55 then she will forfeit those payments. If she waits until 55 she will likely receive the benefits for the extent of the retirement.
I would like more information on this specific subject as well.
That’s right, an SBP recipient that gets married prior to age 55 will forfeit SBP payments. If that new marriage ends because of death or divorce, SBP payments will restart.
OK!
My Mother was married to my Father almost his whole time in the Air Force. he retired in 1978.my Mother and Father got divorced around 1990.Is my Mother still entitled to a ID card and tricare?
is there any benefits for women who are forced into a divorce at 78 after married to retired a.f. ret. chief after 33 years of marriage.he had stroke and filed for divorce after children persuaded him that i was not entitled to any thing at his death.i have not been able to get any information, he was retired from military when we married. however i was married first to a s/m/sgt. thu his career in the military, can you give me any answers..thanks as i only draw 234.oo a month social security..melba gladhill
You aren’t entitled to his pension because you weren’t married during his time in service. If you were previously divorced from a sgt, depending on the number of in service years you were married, you could have been entitled to something. If it’s not in the original decree from husband number one you aren’t entitled to anything there either. Any other assets you guys have (banks, stocks, house etc) would be split in the divorce 50/50 more than likely but only a lawyer can tell you for sure.
There is no longer anything after his death as her ex husband cashed in his ONLY life insurance policy and paid off her car and gave her the remainder of the money.…what else is there. This woman has more than $234 per month.…she took in excess of $40k while he was in the hospital after his stroke. Not such an innocent little old woman.
I am in a similar situation.
my ex-husband & I were divrced about 28 years ago. At that time you had to divorced 20 years to get any of his retirment pay. At that time I worked butsurvived without it. Now I am almost 66 and have many health issues.
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Hi.
I have a big question. I am a retired navy senior chief. I was not married at the time of my retirement. My wife and I got married 5 years ago and we want to protect her in case I pass on. We want to enroll her in the survivors benefit plan. Is there anything we can do? They told me about open season. If you could please let me know.
Thank you
Steve
Steve — I have good news for you! Yes, you can cover your spouse with SBP — as long as apply for coverage within the first year of marriage. I’ve written on this topic several times, so you can read more under the “divorce” section of this column.
Also, here is what DFAS (http://www.dfas.mil/rapay/rafaqs/sbpfaqs.html) says on the topic:
I wasn’t married when I retired, so I did not make an election under SBP. If I get married after retirement, may I elect coverage for my spouse under SBP?
Yes. You may elect SBP coverage for the first spouse you marry after retirement. However, you must elect the coverage before the first anniversary of your marriage. Send a letter to DFAS (or use DD Form 2656–6) requesting SBP coverage for your spouse, and provide your spouse’s name, social security number, date of birth and a copy of the marriage certificate.
Answer in reference to this question: Hi. I have a big question. I am a retired navy senior chief. I was not married at the time of my retirement. My wife and I got married 5 years ago and we want to protect her in case I pass on. We want to enroll her in the survivors benefit plan. Is there anything we can do? They told me about open season. If you could please let me know.
Thank you,
Steve
If I’m disabled and awarded 50% disability and my ex-spouse is receiving a portion of my retired pay, does her portion stop or is it reduced?
50% of your disposibls pay — menaing whats left over after your disability comes out.
that is not true any more. The disability is paid separte and does not affect the ex spouse money.
That has changed here is the new law
Qualified disabled military retirees will now get paid both their full military retirement pay and their VA disability compensation. This recently passed law phases out (over 9 years) the VA disability offset, which means that military retirees with 20 or more years of service and a 50% (or higher) VA rated disability will no longer have their military retirement pay reduced by the amount of their VA disability compensation
great website
I’m a divorcee of a Air Force active duty retiree and my decree states 25 % upon retirement for my portion.We were married for 19 years. I would like to know the formula to figure my portion. He retired in August 2010. I have yet to get any checks from the government. He keeps writing personal checks and I’m not sure the amount is correct. Also I would like to know how to get my portion 0f his retirement in the form of government checks instead of him writing personal checks to me. Thank you.
I just got divorce and my ex wife is getting 7% of my retirement, I served 26 years in the military, I sacrifice long and hard for that retirement, my ex nearly destroyed my career by writing bad checks and the NCO club, she had a gambling problem, if it wasn’t for the Regimental commander sticking up for me. I would have been discharged. Now how can it be that someone like that is getting any portion of my retirement. It is not write and it’s a total slap in the face to all that have served and sacrificed for our country, this law should be repealed.
I totally agree. It is a total rip off and a slap in the face for your hard work and sacrifice to your country. I am filing for a divorce and going through a similiar situation. It is good she only got 7%. Some judges are giving up to the 50%. One guy’s wife waited until he retired and she dropped the divorce papers rt after and now looking at marrying someone else. He was cheated on whilel he was deployed…horrible. You can write to your congress about a REPEAL for the FSPA. I understand it is sight up to leave a signature about a repeal.
We moved 19 times in 20 years. I raised 3 kids mostly by myself even when he was home he was either watching TV or sleeping. He was absent from his family. I worked for AAFES 18 and 1/2 years the only ones who got retirement were those who worked full time and we were never in one place long enough for me to get to that point. So earning my own retirement? How in this world could I have done that?
What a CROCK! guess what…I’ve moved 5 times in the past 4 years…guess what.…I have a FULL TIME JOB, always have. You could have found a job at any time. As a female spouse I am SICK of hearing the excuses from women like you. If you want something bad enough you go get it, it sounds like you didn’t want it enough and that you were happy playing SAHM, until your husband wanted something different…then all of a sudden it’s “poor me” You could have gotten part time jobs, started your own business, or GASP…applied for scholarships and gone back to school to earn a degree. You said you worked at AAFES…why didn’t you save any of that money for retirement?
my husband is going thru the exact same situation with his ex. She was suppose to get 17% of his retirement at staff sargeant pay (that was his rank at the time of separation) she is now getting 17% of his major pay. We talked with a couple of lawyers to see what we could do and came up empty handed. We’re interested in writing to congress about a repeal. can you provide a website?
how long were you married to your wife, if more than 5/6 years and she made PCS moves with you.….what kind of military solider and husband were you! She also made sacrifices.….…It’s the choice you made making her you spouse. She needs help and it sounds like you do also.….
I wanted to go back to school to finish my education that I stopped to follow him. He always said that as soon as all the kids were in school I could go back. when our last child graduated from school I asked him again to keep his promise to let me go back to school only to be told there wasn’t any money for it. That is funny as there sure seemed to be enough money for his trucks, boats, fishing equipment etc., etc. I then went and got a Pell Grant. Instead of getting a hey that is the way to do it he said, ” you went behind my back! You just sneaked around to do that against my wishes! He acted like I had cheated on him. Then he said I was too old and if I did learn something who in their right minds would hire and old person like me . I did clean that up some as I do not want to offend. I supported him in many ways. I did his mail order studies as he didn’t either, want to, have time to, or brains to. I polished boots, ironed uniforms, etc., etc. ‚for him as he was a cook and didn’t have time to make fancy cakes for change of commands and O.W.C .,etc., I did them and he got the credit for it.
Can someone please guide me with a phone # to find out info about an ex spouse (the first wife) of a retired military person. I know there re benefits
that are there for me being the first wife. I would appreciate any info or phone #
thank you
depends on how long and when you guys were married.
please pass on this answer to me
In order to be entitled to any of his retirement you must be married 10 years. It is the same measurement that social security uses.
Oh and you are COMPLETELY wrong in this. It’s up to the states, 10 yr mark is only to be paid directly through the military. A judge can award retirement for any length of marriage but any award for under 10 years has to be paid by the military member directly instead of through DEFAS.
married in Sept 1977 he joined service in 1979 we divorced in dec 1990, i remarried now divorced and recieve social security disablity 49 yrs old , what an i intitle too. he remarried divorced then and remarried. I was the 1st wife. help? who can i call to find out what i can get, he wont tell me.
Quit being a leach and get a job!
Shame on you!
woo hoo!
She just wants her part of the miliary life,(time) she had with him, I say make phone calls to deers or tricare, they will help you, good luck,
I was 18 @ the time we married,1987 we just divorce today, jan 18, 2011
but I have been with him since the age of 15, your dam right I deserve 50%
of retirement, But any wife of our servicemen, bounce checks or runs arounds or just screwed with his caree, should not get very much, Im thinging 10% or less,If he can prove it.See I’m miliary my whole life, first a brat then a wife, So I know better and know how things work, thank you,
Michelle– Your a bitch. He worked his ass off for that. Gold diggers these days!
Bitter..great name, it suits you.
See my case as an example; I have not been able to finish my degree and have the career I have always wanted because the Army moves us every 12 to 24 months in the past 9 years. I have been married to my husband way before he graduated Army ROTC (and now each other since we were teenagers). I have sacrificed myself to provide stability for him and for the 3 kids we have even before our military life. God forbid you call a military wife a “Gold digger”. Our husbands work their asses off as you said but we are the ones that pick the pieces when they are broken and frustrated. Sometimes I feel my role is to be a psychologist; but I listen and counsel him because I love him and he can count on me 100%. And by the way, I was the one who opened his TSP while he was on his second deployment. Each case is different so stop judging the lady above. You know nothing!
if the spouse is doing all of that — why even 10%? why do you gals insist it is yours for the taking?
Becuse of the instability of our lives, moving 19 times in 20 years. Being brow beaten treated worse than new recruits. Living in poverty. Wearing the same pair of pants and shirt for 3 days, before you change into another set so you can wash those. Oh and having one other set for when you go shopping at the Commissary or PX . wearing a pair of sneakers that are threadbare and have holes through seven inches of snow to get milk and whatever at the local german market so your kids got something to eat because your military mate is in the field and will not be back yet for a nother 5 days and it is the change that fell out of his uniform after that last celebration he went to, and he came home snockered.
You want his money then marry him again
hello, if it was not in your divorce decree to receive SBP you will not be eligible. Also he may have stopped paying the premiums when you divorced. The election to change spouse coverage to former spouse coverage should have been done within the year of your divorce to him. This is a decision that you both would have had to make because once you are divorced you are not automatically enrolled to receive benefits. Now that he has remarried, it will all depend on which of you spouses will receive benefits that he has chosen. Check under uniformed military former spouse benefit coverage for more information.
I know it may not be the answer but military members are protected too.
hope this helps
My husband was in the Army for 22 years and I have survivor benefits. We have been married for 35 years. In the event of divorce or remarriage on my part, will I still receive my survivor benefits I am 68 years old. Thank you
If you were married for 20 and he was active duty for 20 and they over lap you get to keep everything. As it is since you are over 55 years should you get a divorce and keep the SBP you get to keep that survivor is only if you are still married when he kicks the bucket. As far as I have been able to find out.
hello, in order to be eligible for SBP you must be a widow at the time in order to receive survivors benefit and also been married at the time he enrolled in the plan. if you divorce, you will not automatically be eligible to receive the benefits. there are many rules concerning this, if he does elect you to receive benefits he will have to change the SBA to former spouse coverage. Be careful too because the election must be made within 1yr after the divorce. You will need to check with DFAS regarding this. Now if he does elect former spouse coverage you will still receive benefits if you are over 55 and married. This too you would need an attorney who knows military laws concerning this. hope you two will stay together for life.
then you get to pay the taxes on the money as well…lol. apply to cleveland — they will send you your chekcs. you need ot provide them with a court order though.
I’m a divorce dependent i have been divorced since 1977. I would like to have taxes witheld on what i received i;ve been looking a long time to know how to contact you on this matter
you need to go irs.gov and look at the armed forces and taxes. type in military former spousal benefits taxable. this will take you to chapter 3. also look at these irs publications: 505, 525 and 559. if you still cannot find the answer contact irs because they only deal with federal and you would need to contact the state regarding taxes. hope this helps
AFTER 10 YEAR MARRIAGE WHAT KIND OF % ex spouse will gets, and what kind of benefits she will gets.
hello, if this is military related, it should have been included in the divorce decree and even with that the military does not allow the courts to rate the % this is up to the military. you will need to look at military divorce law for more information. now if this is regarding ssa benefits alone, it is all based on the earned income but you need to go to ssa.gov for more information. hope this helps
I was married 21 years, 18 years of active duty. Even tho we were together all of his 23 years of military service I only got 39% of retirement pay.
So the magic number of 10 years for 50% of retirement pay is not correct.
If you were married 20+ years and on active duty a matching 20+ years then the spouse is entitled to 50% of available retirement. That is, after any disability, up to 50% disabled, is deducted.
My husband wants to remove his first wife off the SBP and add me. What does he need to do in order to do this. Also, a portion of his retirement she is entitled to ends when their youngest child turns 18 so she will no longer be receiving a portion of his retirement.
Unless the former spouse agrees in writing to stop SBP coverage, there can be no coverage for the present wife. Also, I would not count on retirement owed to his former wife to end unless she remarries before age 55. His child’s age has nothing to do with the retirement the former spouse earned during her marriage to your husband. Your husband should be well aware of this.
My husband of 59 years divorced me a year ago. He was in the Air Force 4 years
and got out. He is disabled with a non service disease and draws a pension. I took care of him for 20 years.I have not remarried. Are there any benefits for me
after death?
married 33 years to ret. military man, he was disabled with heart trouble and a type of inherited paralysis,he is now divorcing me after a stroke and his children convinced him i deserved nouthing, will i be entitled to any benefits at his death
hello the rule for former spouses are you would have to be married for at least 10 years or more as long as he was active duty. With disability from
VA you will not be able to touch that. But if he is receiving social security disability benefits and he dies, yes you may be able to draw from that. You need to go to ssa.gov for more information regarding this issue. hope this helps
Hello,
Yes you should have benefits.
Federal law grant state courts the right to divide military benefits as long as certain conditions are met. So depending on how long he was in the military and the specifics will determine what you can receive.
I’m unclear if you mean he was in for 4 years or if you mean he was in the Air Force 4 (meaning the word “for”) years. Simply asking how many years was he in the Air Force?
I hope this helps and if you have any questions on this be sure to google this and you will find a good bit about it. Or, just write back :)
Thanks,
Trav
MY wife and I have been married for over 5 yrs. She had a military id card from ex. who served 20 yrs in military. Her Id was taken from her when she remarried. Is she entitled to keep her ID card. What can she do.
No, once she remarried she lost her bennies to Tricare etc.
My mother was married to my father for 13 years. He retired out of the military in the late 70’s. He remarried in the mid 80’s. Unfortunately, my father passed way June 23, 2011. How would my mother know if she was entitled to his retirement benefits since he is now deceased. I know she can get his SSN but I would like to inform my stepmother as to what she may need to do as well. Also, could you please lead me in the right direction as to where I can obtain this information? Thanks!
TMRoberts — I’m sorry to hear your father’s passing. If your mom is entitled to any retirement benefits, it would have been stated in their divorce decree. Regarding Social Security, since your parents were married in excess of 10 years your mom can check into whether half of his benefit exceeds her own benefit. My advice is to make an appointment with the local Social Security office and work through the details.
hi My x husband is currently drawing Va disability, He is remarried. and married three times after me.
I am disablednow and draw my own social security I am age 55 and was married to him almost 10 years we had two children together in which case one was handicapped now grown and better. Can I draw a portion of his disability from VA?and if so How do I get started?
Nope, disability is his and his alone. If the kids are grown and you didn’t get alimony in writing in the decree you won’t see a dime. The only time disability pay is taken into account is for child support. And honestly what makes you think you are entitled to pay he gets for being disabled by the military…were you the one doing his job when he got injured? This “what can I get for simply being married to a military man” attitude that is all over these forums is DISGUSTING.
I agree it is very disgusting!!!
hello, his va disability cannot be awared because it only applies to him no matter how many times he remarries. it is government protected. now that you are drawing your own this is your only entitlement. see va.gov for more questions. hope this helps
You cannot touch any disability payments he is the one disabled. What if he came to you and said i want some of your disability? Thats what I thought.
You should contact the VA, but more than likely the answer will most likely be no. VA disability compensation can be garnished if he is behind in child support or alimony. You can also apply for an apportionment of his benefit depending on the circumstances.To the nasty remarks made made by all replies besides Jeff, VA disability is always considered income and can DEFINITELY be touched if certain conditions are met. You should know the facts before you spout off so unkindly.
Hi I am researching for my mom. She married my dad in ’61 they got divorced in ’79. She had no lawyer no one to help her out. He did not pay alimony or child support and she still had 3 kids at home. there was nothing in the divorce degree about retirement benefits she might be able to get. She knew nothing about stuff like this. Is she able to get part of his retirement now
I am the 2nd wife.we have been married 15 years.My husband was married 43 years the 1st time.At his death,can I receive any of his military pay? In his divorce the 1st wife already gets a portion of this pay.
Barbara, I think I’m right on this. When a military member dies, and has not opted for the Survivor Benefit Program, retirement pay stops. You are eligible for Social Security and health benefits, commissary, ID card, etc. I’m sorry your husband never discussed this with you but many members don’t know their entitlements. You need to contact your nearest Base and the Personnel Section should direct you to the right department.
What I would really like to know is, if there is a way that a disabled child of a military vet can get an ID Card with out his permission? He Started the divorce proceedings I just went along with it as I was tired of being abused by him. Tired of his cheating on me. I do not want him back and after he sexually abused the child the child doesn’t want anything to do with him. Doesn’t want to even look at him. What can I do to help my Child?
you will need to incorporate the continued benefits for your child during the divorce proceedings. also you may want to contact DEERS for more information regarding what rights you have for your child regarding the military id after a divorce. make sure you have an attorney who is knowledgeable in military laws.
This is disturbing to me, why didnt you call the authorities if you knew this was going on? This sounds fishy to me, if he was such a bastard why didnt you call the cops? So your as much at fault for letting this abuse happen.
If he was put out of the military because of abuse you may get a check for over a grand and your daughter also. Also when he retires you may get a portion, and he has to pay child support. DFAS 411 is 888–332-7411
this is the second letter i wrote about my ex-husband who is now deceased.thi military refuses to pay me his retirement money,neither of us ever remarried.where is his retirement money going,if not to his family,like i said this is miney he earned for his country and his family and now we have sen none of his rerirement or only 150.
00 a month of social security.do i need to get a attorney involved with this?his retirement money definantly needs to go to his family.he earned it.i was told it would go back to the military.why?its his money he earned.why should the militery take back his retirement?and further more his social security.please help me with this,i am very aggravated and confused.sincerely.wilma l. burcham
Social Security provides retirement benefits to an ex-spouse whose marriage lasted 10 years or more, whether the ex-husband is living or deceased. An ex-wife can apply for retirement benefits based on the ex-husband’s work history once he reaches retirement age and qualifies for benefits. You must be divorced two years or he must be deceased if he has not filed for his Social Security retirement. You must also be at least age 62 and unmarried to collect early retirement and you must be full retirement age to collect 50 percent of an ex-spouse’s Social Security benefits.
This 1 of 3 comments for you.
#2When your husband or ex-husband dies, it’s important to file for benefits as soon as possible, even if you are not sure that you qualify to receive them. You will need certain documents. Those that are in your possession now can be placed in a separate file so that you have access to them immediately upon your husband’s death. You will need his Social Security number, copies of your marriage and divorce certificates and the government life insurance policy, if one was issued to you. In addition, if your husband has died, you must present the death certificate. An ex-wife can receive benefits if her husband is deceased and she is age 60 or 50 and disabled, the marriage lasted 10 years, and her individual entitlements are less than the benefits she would receive under his work record.
#3
The Uniformed Services Former Spouse’s Protection Act entitles former spouses of military service members to a portion of their ex-spouse’s military retirement pay or pension. It also depends on the length of marriage prior to divorce. The portion to the entitlement depends on the laws of the state in which you file for your divorce or as determined by the Defense Finance and Accounting Service. you will need to do this on your own or with an attorney is knowledgeable in military laws.
Hope this helps
There are variables missing. how long were you married? Just because he recieved a pension does not mean you are entitled to it. SBP will dictate if you are owed any money. Once the Soldier dies his retirement dies unless he has survival benefits in place.
How can i obtain a birth certificate for my son who was born in Ft. Polk, La in 1980?
A birth certificate includes information about the birth of an infant. It includes the mother’s maiden name and father’s name, along with various information such as the baby’s name, date of birth and the county or hospital where the child was born. Depending on the state or county, it might also list the parents’ addresses, occupations or races. A birth certificate is needed to prove who you are in order to obtain a marriage certificate, passport or a driver’s license. You will need to contact clerk of courts vital records in that state.
hope this helps
Hi! My ex is remarried and is receiving 32% of my retire pay. Can I go back to the courts and get that lowered since I didn’t know what the law was when it was enacted under Rep. Schorder. I sure hope so. Thanks!
No you can’t if it’s in the decree she gets it until one of you dies.
Can I go back to the court to get the divorce decree changed? Thanks again.
your screwed bro.
If my ex-wife, who is getting 1/2 of my retirement pay dies, does that money than revert back to me??
I would like to know if SBP will ever have another “open enrollment period”, from what I understand they did have it one time before?
So who and how does DFAS check to make sure the Ex spouse is in fact still alive to receive there part of our retirement?? I have very serious thought that my ex has her, not by me, son on the account her portion goes too and that she has told him in the event of her death to leave the account open as the money she was getting will still flow into the account as long as I am alive.. I just wonder how DFAS checks on the recipients to make sure they are still alive and what happens if DFAS discovers that a recipient has been deceased for 2, 3 or more years. What happens and will I get my money back and if so how long will it take?? I say all this because my ex is 8+ years older than me, smokes like a chimney and has a poor family medical history.
My husband is a disabled, retired veteran. His ex-wife was awarded his retirement in their divorce. I am battling a life threatening disease and it is our understanding that there will be nothing left for me to take care of me in the event he passes away before I do. Is this correct?
Is there any way to get this changed so I am eligible for a portion of his retirement?
I should mention his ex-wife is retired military and she out ranks him but he is not getting her retirement. Is there any way to go after her retirement for him? They were married 8 years.
We need help! No one has been able to give us any answers to our questions.
Thanks.
I dont think his ex could have been awarded more than 25% of his retirement. I know in some states the only way a spouse can get a full 50% is if they were married for a full 20 years of the service members career.. In your case them only being married for 8 years I would suspect she is only getting 25%. As for you getting anything if he passes first, unless he has Survivor Benefit plan and listed you then if he passes before you there will be nothing for you. It sucks but its the way it is.
MY EX AND I WERE MARRIED FOR 42 YEARS, HE WAS RET. MARINE DUE TO HIS DISABILITIES
CAN I KEEP A LIMITED ID FOR PX
hello, and please help from someone that knows this answer. I was married many years to retired AF member. He passed away , I remarried later. I already had, ID, befits, etc. I remarried also retired AF member. So only issue was to change name, get new ID card, benefits remained in place. Unfortunatly after 10 years my present husband no longer wants to bne a married man. WE are seniors. I would like to get former married name reinstated which I can do in court. Can I revert to being widowed dependent of former deceased spouse. I would lose my tri-care benefits. Can I get new ID with old name (reinsted) and maintain benefits. My SS benefits are actually widow benefits from deceased spouse. Thanks for any info. Cherie
Seriously, you made the choice to remarry so you lose your ex husbands benefits. Thats like buying a new car keeping it for ten years and going back to the dealer and requesting to get your trade in back.
My husband is an E5 in Afghanistan, in for 12 years now,we are married and he spends all his pay, doesnt he have to send me support? if so how much and how do i go about finding this out and enforcing it?
Get a Job.
He is obligated to provide support for his family. Contact his First Sgt at your husband’s installation where he is normally stationed.
My husband has become a different man now that he’s a part of the military. It’s good that I’m a workaholic and in management as I pay everything while he spends all that he makes. I’m having difficulty covering the bills we have as I assumed that he would be contributing to the bills we incurred together. Does the military consider and have policies regarding abandonment?Thank you, I’m not sure what to do…
Its simple.. DIVORCE him.. I mean if he is not living with you and gives you nothing then simply divorce him… though I would like to think you have talked to him and told him how you feel… If you have and he isnt doing anything to help change the situation divorce
I receive retirement from my ex-husbamd as I was married to him 20 years he was in the service. We divorced at the 20 year point. Was married 23 years. 20 of it military. Should he die do I continue to get the retirement? I don’t know if he has SBP. I do know he has life insurance.
The only way you would continue to receive payments is if it is in your original divorce decree that you retain the rights to SBP. If it’s not then no, you cannot continue to leach off your ex after his death. He in no way shape and/or form is required to make you the beneficiary of his life insurance policy unless so ordered in the original divorce decree.
My new husband is 70% dissabled he is retired after 24years in Air Forc and is recieving his full retirement and dissibility. As soon as he is 100% dissabled will they cut his retirement .
How do I get a waiver to the 20–20-20 rule for retire ID Card entitlement? My ex-wife is an Italain national and she recieves 50% of my retirement pay. The issue is that under the 20–20-20 rule, we fall short by 1.5 months for being married together while I was in the military. How do I get a waiver for her to keep her retired ID card after it expires? Note that I served 24 yrs in the military, but had to leave because of RCP for my grade. We were married a total of 28 years, but only 19 yrs and 11 months before I retired from the military.
i was married 14 years even though we were seperated right at the 10 year mark for good, i got divorced and agreed to 50% of retirement to give to spouse. i was then discharged from active duty 2 years later to only go back in later and retire. my question is am i still required to give her my retirement due to the fact that i left that organization and retired from another?
Why would you agree to 50 percent? She may have only been entitled to 20 percent at 10 years.
Hi my husband was married to another woman before me when he was stationed in Germany. She is a German citizen works and receives money from the German state. She was abusive and violent throughout their entire marriage. They have a child together who lives in Germany. They were married on paper for 4 years but separated after 2. There is no mention in the divorce decree as to retirement pay. She is threatening to go to court to get more money from us. How much could she get and can she do this?
My ex and I were married for 14 years, we divorced a year after I retired from the military. During the divorce process we filled out all the paperwork together at the lawyers office. The attorney asked specifically about any retirement funds/portfolios (which is what I’m told retirement pay is considered) and neither of us said a word-to be honest I didn’t know that was what retirement pay was considered at the time-years have past now and she moved back to live w/ her mom now she suddenly has aquired a lawyer that says she’s entitled to half the money.
Is this legit??
it will be very hard for her to lay claim to it 3 years post divorce. She will probably claim ignorance that she wasn’t told she could be entitled to it but you know what that’s HER fault and HER LAWYERS fault for not going over it at the time of the divorce. Hire a damn good lawyer to fight her because there is a slim chance you’ll find a crazy judge that might award it to her
I was married 21 years, 18 years of active duty. Even tho we were together all of his 23 years of military service I only got 39% of retirement pay.
So the magic number of 10 years for 50% of retirement pay is not correct.
It is amazing how spouses think they are entitled to anything. First off when you military member went to war did you go? NO. When he or she was out in the cold pulling several hours were you?NO. Your military member kept a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your sorry ass fat back. Half of these posts make me sick wahhh wahhh he didnt do this or he didnt do that. My ex cheated on me several times and she will get a portion of my retirement for supporting me while she had other men in her bed. You know what is owed to a military spouse NOTHING, THATS RIGHT NOTHING. If you didnt like it, you could have left, but the fact remains that you stuck by him, not because you loved him or her because you wanted that pension. It is a damn con game and I see it everyday with spouses. STFU and get a job.
How about those spouses that support their retired disabled spouses by working hard and they do nothing to help yet spend everything they can on cigarettes and bulls**t. Do those spouses who want some help get it??? No we cant get sh*t for help because they are disabled and you cant touch their disablity/VA/retirement. We might not go to war but who do you think has to stay home, take care of the home, kids, work and survive disasters like Hurricanes while that member is away and no help from the BASE!
I think you have a lot of anger. I do as well and I am a hard working Army spouse. Every situation is different and I think you should get a job unless you have one already.
Good luck.
I got married to my husband 4 years after he joined the military. He retired at 20 years. We just got our divorce as of today after almost 16 years of marriage. We have 2 children together,which I have 1 of and he has the other child. Do I get to keep my ID card now that the divorce is finalized?
Tracy, I just read something about it having to be 20 consecutive years. I had to give mine back after 14 yrs married.
I was married to a soldier for 14 yrs all which he served in the military. We were also together 4 years prior to his enlistment. We seperated due to him cheating. When I divorced him I did it myself. I did not file for part of his retirement then. Can I still do that? We have been divorced for a few years and he is now remarried? His current wife is acting like she has been his wife for the last 20 years…
What if you’re still married and your husband is drawing a pension and he tells you if he dies the pension is cut off. Is that true?
HI. So the ex gets a portion of the military retirement for life? At best it seems to me they should only get retirement for the time their spouse was in service. example if someone served 20 years then why should the ex get retirement after 20 years of being paid for it.. they didnt work for it.
My exwife gets 32% of my military retirement..by court order..We got divorced after 13 years in Army..does she get 32% of date of the divorce(E7 with 13 years) or 32% of when I retire?
I was divorced by my ex-wife after 27 years of marriage. i was in the US Air Force for 22 years.
she now continued to carry my last name and of course she is receiving 50
% of my retirement pay. she’s now sheltering, feeding, and etc her boyfriend. i am not sour with our divorce, but i just question where is the justice of her receiving the 50% of my retirement to feed and shelter her boyfriend, while I am the one supporting our son.
I know you have heard this a thousand times over but the person that gets screwed with this act is the retired military member, after I retired my wife and I divorced I came home from work one night and my ex-wife had packed up everything and moved I was left with nothing, she is since retired from the exchange service drawing a pension from there and drawing social security and receiving 45% of my retired pay, she is clearly receiving more money than I am, she lives in California living in a 3 bedroom 2 car garage paying over $1000.00 month rent traveling living good, me on the other hand after the divorce I had to file for bankruptcy and I am on social security now myself my credit is shot and it is really hard, every time I think about her and how the system and the military screwed me after all my years of service I get really angry, I don’t want to hate but I really hate that woman, I am remarried now my current wife is about to also go on social security we help each other, we live from day to day penny pinching, my memories of the military I have none, well I know you can’t do anything I am just screwed
As a spouse, I am with you, I would never dream of taking my husbands retirement…I didn’t earn it. I live my life like any other spouse, doing chores, taking care of kids, working full time, cooking dinner. These are just things an average spouse has to do, regardless of if they are married to the military or not. This in NO WAY entitles us to a portion of our military spouses retirement.
I am also a Veteran and was married to a Coastie for almost 19 yrs. When we got divorced I didn’t want his retirement and I never asked for it. But with your ex wife I know for fact you can get half of her retirement from the Exchange Services where she worked. I would contact the attorney you used and go for it.
QUESTION: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS MY HUSBANDS EX-WIFE ENTITLED TO AS FAR AS BENEFITS AND ANY PAY FROM MILITARY. WE JUST GOT MARRIED AFTER HE RETIRED FROM THE MILITARY. THE EX IS TRYING TO GO AFTER EVERYTHING SHE CAN GET MILITARY WISE. ALSO WHEN HE RETIRED SHE DIDN’T DRAW A PORTION OF HIS RETIREMENT FOR 6 MONTHS AFTER IT STARTED-NOW SHE IS TAKING HIM TO COURT TO SUE HIM FOR THOSE 6 MONTHS-ALTHOUGH SHE IS THE ONE THAT DID NOT SUBMIT THE PAPERWORK TO START DRAWING RETIREMENT. CAN SHE SUE HIM FOR THAT TOO??
Yes she can sue him for the 6 months of back pay if it’s in the divorce decree…and she’ll win so it’s not really worth fighting save yourself the lawyers fees and just pay her (as sad as that fact is and make sure to keep ALL records). The rest of the benefits etc will depend on the number of years they were married while he was active duty.
THANK YOU FOR THE REPLY.….….THAT SUCKS THOUGH:-(
My husband was is the Air Force for 20 years and retired. We have been married for 10 years, almost 11. His first wife gets part of his retirement. Now he wants a divorce from me. Can I also get some of his retirement? He also gets disability payments and a cost of living payment since he is going back to school. Am I entitled to anything?Thanks.
If you married him after he retired, no you aren’t “entitled” to anything. If you were married while he was on active duty it would be based on the number of active duty years you were married, minus his payments to his former wife and his total outgoing cannot exceed 50% of his payment so if the first wife is already getting 50% you won’t get anything. Disability payments are protected by federal law so they can never be used in calculations for anything besides child support
My Ex-Husband is paying child support but he was complaining that it was to much money coming out of his pocket. Now he’s joining the Marines would it affect my child support services? please help
Yea, it means he can actually pay you child support now.
my mother and father were married 27 of the 30 years he was in the military and they divorced in 1978.….she has been stuggling ever since. She receives medical/dental and id card benefits but no money whatsoever, is she entitled to anything?????
I was married for 10 years and most of those years he was active military. We divorced in 1981. He retired from the Army in 2001. I am sure it was not in the divorce decree about retirement benefits for me. Is there any thing I can do to get the percentage I believe due me?
You are due nothing. The man did 20 years of service AFTER he was done with you. If it wasn’t in the ORIGINAL divorce decree then no, legally there is nothing you can do to steal his retirement. If you feel it is “due to you” why didn’t you take the steps to try and attain this 30 years ago
30 years ago I didn’t even think of retirement for him or me when I divorced his cheating.……Like alot of military wives, I was young, never lived away from home and didn’t realize I had rights too. I didn’t even have a lawyer. please keep your opinionated comments to yourself. They are of no use to me or anyone else that is serious about looking for answers on this site.
Not having a lawyer was your first mistake, and you obviously weren’t that young when you divorced him if you were married 10 years. Given that the legal age for marriage without parental consent and enlistment is 18 that means you were at LEAST 28 when you got divorced. More then old enough to have a proper handle on your finances.
You also had 30 YEARS to properly plan for your OWN retirement, which since you want a portion of your ex’s pension now I am guessing you didn’t. So why should this man, who did close to 30 years in the military, have to carry you around for the rest of his life?
Opinions or not…you legally are not able to go after his pension now since you didn’t get it in the original divorce decree. In fact, if you read through the Ask June posts there is an entire post dealing with just that topic.
I’ve been married to a retired navy man who served in viet-nam, and later desert storm, they gave him 6 month to 1year to live ‚does his ex wife get the pension or do I?
my fiances ex received retirement benefits in the divorce decree but she hasnt acted on anything yet and no paperwork has been filed on her part to claim or whatever she has to do with the military. is there a time limit for her to lose out? i read somewhere a year?
There is no time limit, and if she does file the paperwork your husband can be required to pay her, in a lump sum with interest, all of the back pay that he was supposed to send her if she takes him to court. If they were married under 10 years the money won’t come directly out of his paycheck, he is responsible for cutting her a check and mailing it every month. If they were married 10 years or more DFAS will send her the monthly check. What you may be thinking of is SBP. If it is not required in the divorce decree that he maintain SBP on his former wife, he will have one year from the date of your marriage to put you down as the beneficiary so that you can get 50% of his pension when he dies. If he is required to maintain SBP on the former wife, you are SOL and get nothing in the event of his death unless she predeceases him and it is changed.
my husband was md from the army with a full pension, he recently died and i dont no if i am entiltled to his pension could you please advise.
If you were paying for SBP coverage then you would get 50% of it. If you weren’t paying for SBP coverage then you wouldn’t get anything. Call the finance office on post.
My friend is divorcing after 19 years and only 15 of that was active duty she can work but does not want to she just wants someone to send her checks while she sits around. She left hime a couple of years ago moved back for a while and left again they have been separated 2 years now and he just retired 1/1/2013 how much of his retirement pay will she be entitled too? She says she wants it all.
She can say she wants the moon, doesn’t mean she is going to get it. The most of his retirement that she can get is 50% and that dollar amount can be reduced based on his disability percentage since it is not divisible in divorce by federal law (make sure he hires a lawyer very famliar with military divorce since some local judges try to include it). She will also loose all healthcare benefits forever past the one year of for pay Cobra coverage
My husband is divorce and has to pay his ex30% of his retirement. They were married 20years. He also had to take SBP out for her. does she get everything if he was to pass? and what will I get? I was told he could not get SBP for her it has to continue, it does not stop because he gets remarried. Also she is about to remmarry. does she still get his retirement and 20/20/20 privilages? I was told if he pass all I get is the insurance and if he is retiree I get nothing. confused!
Is there any way to recover your full retirement back from your ex-spouse? Does anybody know if going back to court would be an option?
1. It’s NOT YOUR RETIREMENT. 2. If you didn’t request it in the final divorce decree or were not awarded it before you signed the FINAL papers then there is nothing you can do. Going back to court will do nothing except waste you money.
Hey my father and mother was married for years. My father courted on my mother every since they was married got baby doing the marry. My mother will have a child and the girlfriend would have a child. But my father shot my mother two month before his died, because my mother started dating and he shot her in my face I was looking at it. I want to know from the public do you think she should get his benefits from the Army if she never remarried and she isn’t marry until this day but they cut her VA fund off because of some lies that was told but we got everything to prove she is who she is. I need some advice or some answer to some unanswer question someone help to find what I need. She is old now and she need her help. She tried but you know went a person just has a Seventh grade level of understand she didn’t know what to do.
no offense but it sounds like you barely have a seventh grade understanding, as such you should re write this so that it makes sense because there aren’t a lot of details to understand the situation. If your mother was divorced but the decree stated she was eligible for a portion of his retirement then she would get that paycheck, up until his death. If they were still married, he would have gotten his pay, up until his death, unless they signed up for SBP when he left active service. This SBP would have paid your mother half of the retirement benefit on his death. If there was no SBP, either in marriage or written into the divorce decree then ALL payments ended the day of his death.
My ex-wife is receiving part of my air force retirement.she has been treated for cancer. in the event a ex-spouse passes from a desease what happens to the money taken from the retired military member due to the stupid survivor benefits protection act that was passed??
We divorce after 29 yrs marriage. He been in the military for 23 yrs together and retire. He joint military 1977 and get out 1981. We get married 1982 and he joined back to Navy 1983 and retired 2002. We divorce 2011. Should I get 50% of his ritirement? Please help and still he doesnt want to give me his part of his ritirement and he said that he want to settlement to me just dont get his riterement and the gov will mess up his retirement. I disagree what he said. Please need advise. thank you.
If you divorced in 2011 it would be in the decree if you were to get retirment pay. If it’s not in the decree you missed your opportunity to request it and he doesn’t have to pay you anything. Sadly with him only being active duty for 19 years while you were married you also aren’t eligible for health care benefits. You should be eligible for 20/20/15 benefits though
I was married to my ex for 10 yrs for 2 1/2 of his 4 1/2 yr sevice time we divorced due to his mental problem.…..he filed ptsd and was awarded 100% disability.….he found out he had cancer and married 37days before his death am I entiled to any benefits since I had to write a letter of his personality when he came back from overseas before,after and during our marriage to the Va during his vie for disablity