Q: My husband retired from the Air Force after 23 years of service. We married after he had retired, and have been married for another 23 years. He tells me I am not entitled to my military ID card after the divorce if he doesn’t agree to it? I did read something about a 20–20-20 rule. Could you please give me some advice on this, please? I have health issues and he is seeing another woman.
–Deborah, Las Vegas, Nevada
A: Your husband has an inflated sense of his influence as it applies to your eligibility for military benefits and an ID card. The 20–20-20 rule is actually the law as it pertains to an ex-spouse’s eligibility for healthcare and other benefits including access to installation facilities. What that means is that in order to be entitled to military benefits the following requirements need to be met:
- The marriage must have lasted at least 20 years.
- The servicemember must have had at least 20 years of service creditable towards retirement.
- The marriage and creditable service must overlap for at least 20 years
So there you have it, the 20–20-20 rule. Unfortunately, you don’t meet those requirements since your 23 year marriage began after he was already retired. In situations like yours, you will be eligible for a premium based program called the Continued Health Care Benefit Program. It’s similar to COBRA in the civilian sector. For an individual, the cost is $1,138 per quarter (about $380/month), so if the divorce becomes a reality, that’s something you’ll want to consider. Contact the folks at TRICARE if you have questions regarding this program, 800–444-5445. Good luck!






I recently found out that my spouse had been having a 5 year affair with another officer. She also had affairs with numerous others during this time. I have threatened to call the IG to report this. I have been told that she could lose her retirement benefits and that I would not be entitled to half her retirement pay if she should lose it as she could be discharge as other than honorable. Is this true?
If she’s discharged prior to 20 years there is no retirement to split. Secondly, unless you have pictures of her in the act, there really isn’t much they can do…trust me my husband has tried on several occasions and in the end it’s been overturned. By default you are not automatically entitled to 50%, that would have to be split in a civilian court by a judge.
I ve got 1992 in SPAIN zaragoza with a military airforce member. we have a son in 1994 and 1996 me and my son returnd to spain while he went to the states station in arizona he i ask him for the divorce and he said he would take my son to the states if i keep on with this idea, 1999 he retired and desaperd i could not a hold on him without legal court order . now im trying again after having information that he is in delaware, I NEED to know what am i entitled of dos he he have to pay child suport of al this years? because he never did, can i ask for alemone?
If you never filed for child support then no, you aren’t entitled to anything at this stage of the game since the child is over 18. If you have a US court order then yes he would have to pay back child support, you will have to get this enforced through a US court system though and most judges will want to know why you waited so long to come forward. This is something you should have filed in 1996 before you left though.
You essentially kept him separated from his child by fleeing to a country where he couldn’t follow…you are honestly VERY lucky he didn’t file kidnapping charges against you back in the day, because he was well within his legal rights to do so (we did it to my husbands ex when she moved my husbands son to HI without consent the two of them had to move back to the state where the divorce decree was finalized), and doing so would have forced you to bring the child back to the state in which he was last residing in.
After all of these years I’d be very surprised if he hasn’t filed a by proxy divorce based on abandonment, which means you are entitled to nothing and are probably already divorced. Honestly, if you are trying to find him the Internet is probably the best way to go, try FaceBook and Google, almost everyone has left some sort of digital footprint. If he says you guys are divorced then ask for a copy of the decree or the state/county in which it was filed so you can request a copy for your records
After all of these years
In reference to 20/20/20 Mine is 48years 9 months/20/20 So why did they take all my benefits away from me????
I was married to a service member for 10 years and 2 months. Our divorce was final on November 15, 2002 only to marry each other again on December 26, 2003 until we legally separated on 4/24/03. We are pending a divorce. Will the military combine the two marriages as one? Will I be able to keep my military ID card?